Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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