I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
