so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize