So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize