I must be too annoying 4 u.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
