Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
