After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Your penis caused this!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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