doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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