Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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