the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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