You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
