I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
