oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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