i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
