I must be too annoying 4 u.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
