I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize