I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
