you guys were way drunker than both of me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
