I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
