Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
