i think i have herpe
just one?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
