Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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