Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
