I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Randomize
