i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize