I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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