Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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