It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
