I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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