I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
