Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
