OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
