well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
