worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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