Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
