he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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