ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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