I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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