Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize