Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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