her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize