i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Did I show you my penis last night?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
