Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize