he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
