She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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