I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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