Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
