summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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