I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish you could order shots online.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
