____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
