I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
