in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
