Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
