a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
