You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
