it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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