drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
