TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
