Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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