never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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