TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
