she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I seem to have left my pride at pride
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
