I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize