This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
