Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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