Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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